GR1ZZL3R Posted September 8, 2022 Share Posted September 8, 2022 What did the masochistic blackjack player say to the dealer? Spoiler 7 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted September 9, 2022 Author Share Posted September 9, 2022 I told my doctor I could hear a buzzing. He said "Don't worry... Spoiler ...it's just a bug going round." 1 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted September 11, 2022 Author Share Posted September 11, 2022 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity... Spoiler ... I can't put it down. 3 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted September 13, 2022 Author Share Posted September 13, 2022 Money talks... Spoiler ... but all mine ever says is 2 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotKot99 Posted September 13, 2022 Share Posted September 13, 2022 1 hour ago, GR1ZZL3R said: Money talks... Hide contents ... but all mine ever says is Same for me @GR1ZZL3R ! I was already about to ask, where’s the joke of the day; it’s getting too grim here otherwise ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted September 16, 2022 Author Share Posted September 16, 2022 Letting go of a loved one can be hard... Spoiler ... but sometimes it's the only way to avoid a rock climbing disaster. 3 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kamila Krawiec Posted September 22, 2022 Share Posted September 22, 2022 On 9/13/2022 at 6:31 PM, GR1ZZL3R said: Money talks... Hide contents ... but all mine ever says is On 9/16/2022 at 3:54 PM, GR1ZZL3R said: Letting go of a loved one can be hard... Reveal hidden contents ... but sometimes it's the only way to avoid a rock climbing disaster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted September 23, 2022 Author Share Posted September 23, 2022 Why can't pirates play poker? Spoiler Because they're always standing on the deck. 3 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted September 24, 2022 Author Share Posted September 24, 2022 My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, so... Spoiler ... I had to put my foot down. 2 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted September 29, 2022 Author Share Posted September 29, 2022 Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and... Spoiler four people died. 1 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psrquack Posted September 29, 2022 Share Posted September 29, 2022 3 hours ago, GR1ZZL3R said: Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and... Reveal hidden contents four people died. Let me guess the last hand: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotKot99 Posted September 30, 2022 Share Posted September 30, 2022 It is no joke, that there is currently a major and exhilarating, even majestic ongoing poker weekend at Malta Unibet Open. We have all seen the live footage, for example, from the €1,100 UO Main Event, and the folks are truly enjoying. However, there have been rumours and whispers that seem to suggest that the “true” main event is happening at the same time, and at the same premises, but out of the public eye and live feeds. But nothing much is currently known about this mysterious event. The birds sing that this mysterious “main event” features the most renowned poker masterminds and legends out there. Some sources say even foreign dignitaries are present. The only confirmed eyewitness reports have stated Finnish flags waving during the pre- and after parties It is truly hard to say what this “main event” really entails. Even the name has not been fully discovered and the witness statements conflict each other somewhat. However, two words are most commonly associated with this event, namely: “Livertool” and “kossu”. But these words leave us simply with too many questions. For instance, the latter term “kossu” is a nickname for the Finnish vodk… And the former “Livertool” - well some say he’s just a myth, while others are convinced he’s the son of Ares, yet others think he’s just an ordinary guy. Be these as they may, we don’t really get a grasp of this mysterious “main event”. Furthermore, one of our reporters at Malta had an opportunity to ask of this “main event” directly from the Unibet Poker Team. The esteemed representative of the esteemed poker team - who wants to remain anonymous - gave the following statement: “We neither confirm or deny anything.” So, as things currently stand, we don’t know much - just bits and pieces. Hopefully we get full disclosure of the events taking place behind the official €1100 main event as the weekend unfolds. But we shouldn’t get our hopes very high. Maybe the things happening in Malta, stays in Malta. Disclaimer: The story is purely fictional or not. The people and places referred to in this story are purely fictional or not (except the first text paragraph concerning the ongoing Unibet Open at Malta and the reference to its €1100 Main Event, and it’s success). No disrespect was meant towards any person or brand mentioned in the story. Finally, no animals were harmed during the writing. 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livertool Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 @GotKot99 Time for ? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotKot99 Posted October 1, 2022 Share Posted October 1, 2022 2 hours ago, Livertool said: Time for ? Trying to, trying (definitely in need of ). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted October 2, 2022 Author Share Posted October 2, 2022 (edited) An old guy was at his friend's funeral and asked the grieving widow if he could say a word. She of course agreed so he stood up and said "Plethora" and sat down. "Thank you" she smiled... Spoiler ... that means a lot." Edited October 2, 2022 by GR1ZZL3R 3 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted October 2, 2022 Author Share Posted October 2, 2022 You wait 52 years for a City player to score a hat trick in the derby then 2 come along at once. 1 4 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted October 4, 2022 Author Share Posted October 4, 2022 I've invented a new word... Spoiler ... plagiarism. 2 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotKot99 Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 What are the two things vampires fear most about casinos? Spoiler Staking and always betting the black 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothMoth Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 Not sure why always betting the black is a problem, as they wear mostly black. I guess it might have be about the Blade colour 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GothMoth Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 Nice topic I'll post an old pic, if you don't mind, as right now am not in a writing mood. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotKot99 Posted October 7, 2022 Share Posted October 7, 2022 1 hour ago, GothMoth said: Nice topic I'll post an old pic, if you don't mind, as right now am not in a writing mood. ”weird looking dog” - I’m like what?! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted October 9, 2022 Author Share Posted October 9, 2022 @GotKot99 I get the "stakes" but not the "betting on black." @GothMoth I don't get any of that!. My wife complains I don't give her enough privacy. I know because... Spoiler I read it in her diary. 1 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GotKot99 Posted October 9, 2022 Share Posted October 9, 2022 5 hours ago, GR1ZZL3R said: @GotKot99 I get the "stakes" but not the "betting on black." I somewhat anticipated this response. At first I thought, I mention only the “staking”, but then remembered what Wesley Snipes said in the movie Passenger 57 “always bet on black”. Then I kinda took it from there and linked with the notorious vampire killer Blade acted by Snipes too (who also dresses completely to black as GothMoth said). The idea was something like betting the black in Casino summons Blade to kill vampires… So, yeah. That was cryptic I admit. The simple “staking” would have worked better! Well, I guess this lame explanation serves as a “joke” of its own now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted October 10, 2022 Author Share Posted October 10, 2022 I haven't spoken to my wife in two years... Spoiler I don't like to interrupt her. 2 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GR1ZZL3R Posted October 14, 2022 Author Share Posted October 14, 2022 As I was out walking with my Uncle Jim, Somebody threw a tomato at him. "Tomatoes don't hurt you" said he with a grin, But this one did, cos... Spoiler ...it came in a tin. 4 "It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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