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NL4 to NL25... The Mental Challenge


nightshopper

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Hey there, reader of this post!

I've been playing on line poker for 14-15 years, always recreational. Since March 2016 I've only been playing at Unibet. I like the level of play and I love following the Unibet streams and chatting with other Unibet players. 

In the ten months I've been playing on Unibet the same pattern repeats itself over and over again. I always manage to build my bankroll up to something between 300 and 400 euro, playing cash games NL4 and NL10 and some small SNG's and MTT's. Most of the time I apply bankroll management. But then... I blow up. It's like my bankroll becomes an obession and when I start losing too much I just can't accept it. I have to recover the lost money as quickly as possible, so I start playing higher cash games and 10€ to 100€ heads up sng's and 5-seat sng's. It's completely irrational, destructive behaviour. I call it my Super Tilt. In one or two days I lose almost everything I built up in a few weeks or months. After which the same process is repeated...

So obviously I need to work on my mental game :) I've already read some chapters in The Mental Game of Poker by Jared Tendler, but so far that didn't change anything. My next attempt to stop me from this Super Tilt sessions is this blog. My personal challenge will be to start grinding at NL4 with a starting bankroll of 100€. I will try to move up to NL10 and NL25, using the same bankroll rules as DaVitsche is applying for his race to NL800.

StakeMove downMove up
4NLstart=100200
10NL80400
25NL2001500

 

I hope this blog will serve as a kind of social control, in a way that it keeps me from playing expensive games to recover my losses. I must say the thought that I could stop this destructive pattern is exciting to me. At the same time I'm afraid of the possibility it won't work, cause it feels like it's such a deep-rooted issue. But... I believe I can do it and I believe this blog might be the way to finally get rid of this problem. I will keep you guys updated with my results, but also with the evolution of my mental state of mind.

Thanks for reading this! After all, you guys reading this might save me from Super Tilt ;)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Thank you all for the encouraging and motivating words. 

@kahbasas78 It depends on what your definition of a gambling problem is. Like I mentioned myself, I agree I have a mental problem with playing on line poker. But it's not that I keep on playing despite losing all the time. I make a profit and I play/gamble the profit away in a short period of time. So yeah, that's not good at all. Anyway, wether you call it a gambling problem or something else: I wanna find a way to deal with it and at this moment I believe this might be the way. We'll see if it works. 

I had a nice start yesterday with a 14,74€ profit. Moreover I had the feeling I had a pretty good focus on the game, probably because of this blog. I also quit when I felt I was getting too tired. That might sound like a very obvious thing to do, but it hasn't always been easy for me. The challenge will be to maintain this focus :)

 

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It's not a gambling problem at all. A gambling problem is when you're addicted to spending life money on bets and thus endangering your own welfare. Tiliting after a bad run and thus losing (part) of your poker bankroll is something different, something even a non-gambly strategic poker player could suffer from, and I think it's actually a common leak for low- and midstakes players. As long as he doesn't make big deposits to blow through at the high stakes after a bad run, it isn't a gambling problem.

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I enjoyed reading your post and I'd like to make the following comments after my own experiences of the dreaded super tilt syndrome.

What I tend to do nowadays is actually drop down to levels as low as 1-2 cent cash games or tournaments that are either just cent rolls or free rolls. I've found that this approach works for me because I can put aside say 5 Euros / $5.00 / £5.00 (whatever the site currency default is set at) and with that I have enough buy ins to play through a large amount of tournaments.

Because they are only 1 cent buy ins I find that I can go on a rage spew without further decimating my bank roll lol.

I know when I'm ready to start playing properly again when a couple of things happen:

1) I instinctively start to tighten my game up.
2) My confidence in my decision making improves to the point that I look more at beating the game than raging.

I hope that helps you out. What I definitely woudn't recommend is chasing losses by going up the buy in levels. In my experience that only leads to even bigger losses as the guys you are playing against may well be much better at the game. You'd also be be playing with "scared" money so any further bad beats or rash calls / moves would ultimately make your mental part of the game much worse.

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So how is my challenge going? Great! I still have a profit and I didn't tilt for one minute. How I managed to do that? One day after I opened this threat Unibet blocked my account. Based on my posts about my super tilts they figured I had a gambling problem. Today - one week and many chats with Customer Support later - my account has been reopened. Finally I can continue my challenge. I'm not gonna go any further into this subject here, I already talked it through with some people on Twitch. Anyway, I'm glad to be back and I'm looking forward to play again. In a responsible way, obviously ;)

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Very happy with my first results :D

1/2 +€14

2/2-7/2 account blocked (less happy with that :p)

8/2 +€32

Total profit: €46

 

Yesterday I really ran like God, Allah, Krishna, Buddha and every other Supreme Being combined. It's very important I realize that. What's even more important for me to realize is that this kinda profit is way above average for me. I know that, but still on some unconscious level I expect to keep on making this kinda profit. So when I have a bad run after an upswing like this, tilt can become an issue. But of course, this time I will be able to control myself thanks to this blog ;)

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Day 3: + €1,2

I only played one and a half hour. Most of the time I was losing, but I think I played okay. After my great start I was very focussed on the fact that I'd had to stay calm if I wouldn't run as good as the first two days. I managed to keep my cool, so that was good. Still I have to admit I felt the urge to end the short session with a profit. In the end I did, but I think it's a too result oriented thought. It's only normal you wanna end with a profit, but I think you should also be able to end a session with a loss without feeling the urge to win it back as soon as possible. Cash games are a long term, never ending competition. So that's something to work on!

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11/2 (Day 4): afternoon -6,98

                        evening +13,06

Total profit: €54,85

 

Friday I didn't really play because I had to install my new laptop, so yesterday was the real Day 4 of my challenge. In the afternoon I lost, but I won more in the evening despite being in the loss almost the whole time. While playing cash games I played two €4 SNG's, but that was because I needed the change. It wasn't to recover my losses though, which would be impossible because since I've been playing this challenge I keep my cash games and tourney results separated in an Excel spreadsheet. Before it was different: if I lost a few buy ins on the cash game tables I could try to win it back playing heads up or 5-max SNG's. Now I have €183,4 on my account: €154,85 is my cash games bankroll, €28,55 is for playing whatever I want :) Even the bonus money I receive from challenges I don't count with my cash games bankroll, so I know exactly what I win or lose with my challenge. Tonight: day 5!

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Thanks @hascorel. You mean €80 is too low to play NL4? @DaVitsche was asked a similar question on Twitch and as he said, bankroll management rules should be different for beginning or advanced players. I'm not a beginner and I know I can beat NL4 and NL10, so I don't need 30 or 40 buy-ins. For NL25 and higher however I will need a larger buffer. 

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12/2 (Day 5): +12,13

Total profit: +66,98

It's nice to keep on winning, but I also think I play well. Playing for a personal challenge and writing about it in this blog makes me play more focussed. This evening I went from 4 tables to 6. I've been used to 4-tabling for years, but recently I heard or saw someone talking about the ideal amount of tables on Twitch. I don't remember who it was, but he said for him 4 tables were too boring and 8 were too much. So 6 was the perfect way in between. I thought I'd give it a try and I must say... I think I've been playing too many hands when I was 4-tabling, because you get used to the action and it gets a bit boring indeed. The next sessions I will keep on 6-tabling, unless I follow a poker stream on Twitch.

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14/2 (Day 7): +0,89

15/2 (Day 8 ):  -5,59

Total profit: €57,89

Not good results, but I'm also not happy with the way I played the last days. Too impatient, too many desperate calls, too many bluffs. Which is not good, but on the other hand it's way better than blowing money away in higher stakes :) But seriously, I'm gonna focus on playing not too loose cause that definitely cost me money the last days. 

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16/2 (Day 9): +23,03

Total profit: €80,92

After three days of struggling (but with limited damage though) I had a profitable day. My second biggest win so far, so I'm happy with that. I'm 5 buy-ins away from NL10 now. But the most important thing is I didn't play as loose as I played the last days.

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17/2 (Day 10): +17,31 

Total profit: €98,23

No spectacular stories I'm afraid. It's going smoothly... For the readers of this blog it might be better I would have a disaster day and totally blow up, but I'll have to disappoint you guys ;) I think the risk of that happening gets bigger when I move up to NL10. However I feel like this challenge and blog really helps me to prevent me from doing stupid stuff. Grinding your way up really requires so much discipline, focus and patience. Mentally it's a totally different game compared to a tournament. You don't have the excitement of reaching a final table, of knocking players out, of smelling the first price trophy... That makes it so important to create a challenge or a structure for yourself, in my opinion. I can really recommend this to other cash game grinders, it makes the job a bit less tough. 

€1,77 to go before moving up to NL10. Today I won't play any poker, so I'll probably play day 11 Sunday evening.

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19/2 (Day 11): afternoon NL4  +2,51

                           Total profit: €100,74

                           evening NL10 +35,7

                           Total profit: €136,44

In a very short session this afternoon I managed to reach the first goal, a €100 profit. That meant I could start playing NL10 in the evening. I was planning to play only 4 tables instead of 6, but I changed my mind rather quickly. 6 seems to be the right amount for me at this moment. Although I must say... if one day I run or play really bad and I lose a few buy ins in a short time, I think I'd better go back to 4 for a while. The risk of mentally blowing up would be higher with 6 tables I think. Anyway, my first NL10 evening went well. In the beginning of the session I made some bad river calls, being a non believer. But after the difficult start I turned more into a believer and I ran good, which made me a nice profit of  3,5 buy ins :D

 

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