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2019 - Success or bust has never been more finely balanced


Brocky

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  • 2 weeks later...

First poker grind in over 2 weeks today and I can honestly say I ran horrific in all ins but feel great regardless.  Over the past 2-3 weeks I've been quite big into sports/casino and I've done a fair bit of damage to the bankroll.  I've had absolutely no motivation to play poker and even today I've really not been feeling it.  Saying that, I've played really well and not moved up trying to chase which I feel really happy about.  I think I finished around even but I'm not even exaggerating that my EV is likely somewhere around 400-500EUR for the day (playing the 50s).  Not ideal obviously but sets me up nicely for a big Monday grind tomorrow.

I had a £100 3-fold bet the other day potentially returning £13k.  Had Barcelona 2-0 as the final leg.  Up steps Messi in the 83rd minute or whatever, bangs home a free kick from 35 yards and completely ❤️♥️❤️s it for me.  Gutted, but hopefully a bit of closure to the whole gambling episode recently whereby I can now move on and get back to poker.  

I've completely skipped the UOS series due to a lack of motivation as well but good luck to all of those playing the main events tonight.

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Hope you find that motivation again mate. Having any plans about going back and working and taking poker as a hobby?

and stay away from the gambling/betting stuff. Think you do better saving those bucks and spend them at the poker table:)

gl gl

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@Silver1 wrote:

Hope you find that motivation again mate. Having any plans about going back and working and taking poker as a hobby?

and stay away from the gambling/betting stuff. Think you do better saving those bucks and spend them at the poker table:)

gl gl


Not getting a job any time soon, I hope!

Saying that, the RNG is ❤️♥️❤️ killing me and has been for a while.  I've moved down to the 25s to rebuild confidence and get back to winning ways, but I literally cannot find a winning day.  It's absolutely insane how I've gone from crushing to just not even be able to put in a single profitable day.  The coolers tonight in the 20 or so games I played was just ❤️♥️❤️ stupid.  

lol.thumb.png.a52d13a6d93368eccb608eff3e53dfd2.png

Cooler after cooler..

cooler.PNG.72ee6b1a134b827c9c487a0a4de361df.PNG

This might have been my favourite though.. 33bb jam with K3o, I have him dominated, I turn the flush draw and he still binks the miracle.

lol1.PNG.d95f1df8bc860e2cace35727f62e0036.PNG

Seriously ❤️♥️❤️ with my mind.  Try again tomorrow I guess.

Edit: Decided to play one more.... Coooooool!

looool.PNG.3d10cf4098636d5ebaf071b4861ae187.PNG

 

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Since the games have been getting tougher, the rake is too high at the 50s+ and I've been running like ❤️♥️❤️ for months I've been trying to move some of my action over to other sites.  Was playing some 25c/50c heads up cash on Party just now and played a guy who seemed to know what he was doing but was 3 betting probably 90% meaning every pot was massively inflated.  As a result there were a lot of big pots and I was stuck ~$200 early doors.  We battled back and forth, I got up and then he doubled up twice before the following 1000bb hand (probably my first ever 1000bb pot, especially with 1 pair!):

Have you ever seen anything so ridiculous?  I wasn't even sure if I was value betting trying to get A9 to call or bluffing trying to get AQ to fold.  

Ended the game with 1715bb :Wow:

pp.thumb.PNG.2c53b2819a83c81e40f3f6f1d342a07e.PNG

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Hopefully will be back on Unibet soon but just can't face it with how it's been going recently.  

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Grinding under the alias BR0CKY I get the following opponent, someone that must be a lurker in the thread...

loldiane.PNG.6d9ed970195f7f8be3766345baa616e8.PNG

If I only I did run good.

Another Unibet session of getting ❤️♥️❤️ed.  Lots of coolers and lots of just not being able to win the big all ins, unfortunately.  Not much more to say really, I've talked to death about how things are going for me on this site so I won't bore you any further.  

Going to do a mini bankroll challenge just to see if I can spin it up.

1500 euros starting bankroll starting at the 50s.  Move up to the 100s at 3k, 200s at 6-8k.  Not too fussed if I go broke as I had a good couple of days on Party which pays for the challenge.  Aggressive BRM <3

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Stopped updating for various reasons, partly because I hadn't been grinding the same games as consistently, also because certain people following the blog seem to want to use it as ammunition at the tables.  Put in a solid grind at the 50s this week:

week1.PNG.ae2cae5fa72c170f698f91a8331a19f2.PNG

Also won a Malta lite package through the UAT private freeroll which includes a 200 euro MTT, accomodation and spending money so something to look forward to in September!

Not much else to really add unfortunately, hope everyone is running good.

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I'm glad people enjoyed the stream, I didn't realise many did to be honest. Maybe I'll come and do a few streams at the lower stakes if people are interested.

 

Hopefully see you in Malta, Marto!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Warning - This post contains a rant.

Given the community seems to be the place to post every bad beat under the sun maybe I should join in.  I ❤️♥️❤️ swear to god that once I start running at EV I am going to print so much money it's insane.  The following are just a few from today:

Big c/r on the flop, calls with 2 outs

0.PNG.ff521711a69f2ff3bc6c8ce0ef59b242.PNG

Took a few highest stakes shots, usual coolers - Somehow managed to lose the minimum here because I'm so paranoid

0.1.PNG.101f7a4ebc25250258de180b7dd4abac.PNG

Sweet turn

0.2.PNG.547bb12e9c7850a969d9c263f050f818.PNG

Yawn

0.3.PNG.3ef9b1621756bdf9a06685326862ea9e.PNG

Gotta win those flips when you take a few BI shot

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5x 50 euro Hexa to give a little boost the bankroll.... oh

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Back to the 50 euro heads up games...

3 bet pot, I check-jam on the flop, he calls it off...

wow1.PNG.413bf1d1cc68337f35e554d810abe780.PNG

Oh ❤️♥️❤️ cool....

wow2.PNG.0708ae74515a5aa338d2abbf8d1daa22.PNG

Guy shoves it pre for no ❤️♥️❤️ reason at all...

1.PNG.4acbf9a66e74bb5c92d84ca96ec6e84b.PNG

No worries, didn't want to get back into the game anyway... (all in pre)

2.PNG.9261b2f32253b451ba6e1b54f4c1cd4f.PNG

All in pre, beat me down a bit more after seeing that ace...

3.PNG.04dd5845b836bba0d13606d2e698aa26.PNG

Villain check/jams flop.  He can't even hit the 9...

4.PNG.ed7b10f772aea0aa8c911d8a61bdc927.PNG

I have a real problem with killing off opponents.  Really struggle to win games at 1800-1900 chips.  Here's another great example (all in pre for all)...

5.PNG.e84f12c48a67662d49995423b67a9f28.PNG6.PNG.f91abe88da98f784fbe0ef92e3c4900c.PNG7.PNG.3eedf8cedd5b9242e69b3a002e10497b.PNG8.PNG.39420bad701b06a9216fc39bcb25fc8d.PNG

I get back to even and this lovely hand happens.. 

9.PNG.e75af4a27693ac9ee4d29ee6dfa43e19.PNG10.PNG.917aeb3ac34f61ee5cb1fbd5132c2ab9.PNG

Oh another lovely cooler..

11.PNG.275230adfe1c87cc7c5cf75891fee14e.PNG

All you can do is get your money in as a favourite eh?

12.PNG.54b84c21162381639f42935a554f564e.PNG13.PNG.c583a2c4beb8f8d84ff3442c9a8e70d7.PNG

Sweet river, bro.. (all in pre)

14.PNG.b6b4afc6585c312fd91d26677644c3ed.PNG

Sometimes you gotta make those hero calls on the turn with A high...

15.PNG.22ebbace5fdba242323766bb4659daf3.PNG16.PNG.b084db3de6f8fe6fea5e34aea4a53efe.PNG

Not a terrible beat but at exactly the same time as the one above which makes it even more painful...

18.PNG.1bb20d68b9e0c4f1756b76de4ef9430a.PNG

Haven't even put that much volume in today but going through this ❤️♥️❤️ what seems like day after day after ❤️♥️❤️ day then maybe you can realise why I am not overly sympathetic at those of you who complain about every flip you lose for 50 cents worth of equity.  Every day I wake up thinking today will be different but every day I lose the will to live.  

 

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I don't think it is the best time to asK but when will the next stream start?

Btw I would like to say I really like your how do you play. You can mix the old school loose agressive moments with value bets with style.

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Hey @psrquack, I didn't have any plans for a stream because I didn't want to give too much info away to regs but if I get some decent sessions against recs at a decent hour of the day and not 5am then I'll make sure I do one. Thanks for the comments about my play :)
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Just take a little break @Brocky ,and start preparing for Malta. 😃

After that,make a strict plan in what direction you wanna go.I know poker is tough game.Especially for mental health.
You can have day by day losing sessions,and that it definetly hard to take.

Hope you are aware that you are going in wrong direction,or should I say "all direcions".
Hope you are,at least,washing the dishes for your girlfriend. 😉

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@XY wrote:

Just take a little break @Brocky ,and start preparing for Malta. 😃

After that,make a strict plan in what direction you wanna go.I know poker is tough game.Especially for mental health.

You can have day by day losing sessions,and that it definetly hard to take.

Hope you are aware that you are going in wrong direction,or should I say "all direcions".

Hope you are,at least,washing the dishes for your girlfriend. 😉


I've taken so many breaks over the past few months I need to start actually playing!  I appreciate the sentiment though.

I moved down to the 25s after running like aids at the 50s this morning.  Then I had this game where a guy limp/jams 22bb with K7o and I hold with KJ.  He's left with 220 chips and the following happens:

All in pre, I'm probably about 30% to hold here aren't I...

1.PNG.278700967bc513f9908e4765af110630.PNG

Another all in, he's 9% after the flop :Dissatisfied:

2.PNG.ae2b0c64ffc7bf79ab288f2ff48af6a9.PNG

Could've 3b jammed this pre but called down as I had flopped so much equity.  Brick city.

3.PNG.a29b3500e139ec82f83d2e46e59b4339.PNG

Limp pre as villain is aggro + a bit tilted.  Stab the flop, check back the turn because I know what's coming, forced to fold the river on an unsurprisingly terrible runout

4.PNG.2a1a391a5326624f8ab7715a7eec5bf0.PNG

And I get it in as a 42% to take back the chip lead... Sick runout bro

5.PNG.bf1a2d819d43f03c91c37d952d37a7d3.PNG

It's not even the money that bothers me but it's the bull:Heart::Hearts::Heart: I feel like I have to deal with.  Hold in any of those first all ins and that's another 2bi profit on the session.  Sometimes when you're grinding for 8 hours a few of these types of games can be the difference between a small winning/breakeven session and a very profitable day (+10bi).  I guess the plus side is once I get out of this downswing I'm going to be mentally tougher than I was before.  

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Terrible session this morning, ended up losing like 700-800 euros so took a break and a bit of time to reflect on things.  Definitely feeling I want to get back to that level of motivation that the tracking/graphs gave me early on in this thread so cleared all the data from my tracker, moved down to the 25s and threw in a few 50s for good measure for the 2nd session of the day.  Going to force myself to update the thread daily again because that gives me the motivation to feel I have to prove my results etc.

Anyway.. really good first session:

14-06.PNG.afd959163c4cdd7549f275e958aba2c7.PNG

I am starting to believe the importance of being organised in tracking results cannot be understated.  For a few months this year I've been very lazy with this; I'll put in good sessions, then throw it all away with a few bad ones and not care about updating the graph because I want to just mentally block it.  I also feel like moving down to the 25s allows me to play with a lot less emotion but perhaps this is just me speaking because I ran well in the session.  It's no secret that I wear my heart on my sleeve but I would love to become one of these players who feels little to no effect from negative variance!

Might go for a nap (yes, at 10:30am 🤣) and then put out a stream this afternoon depending on what the games are like.  

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All I can say @Brocky is what doesn't break us makes us stronger. We all know the downswing terrors but it will turn round, hopefully soon, for you. After my last bad run I set a target amount to play each day and that's it,  no more, no less, and review on a rolling basis. I've done like you many times and torn the graphs up and started again each time I started going up, hoping this time it will go only one way, so good luck again and make it stick this time. 👍

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"It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%."     image.png.99a4e82708d54abfc527324e8836768e.png

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