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2019 - Success or bust has never been more finely balanced


Brocky

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Well the inevitable has happened.  Unfortunately it's time to say goodbye from me.  The session I have just had makes the others look great in comparison.  I have just lost 3k at the 200s to a guy who is 4x'ing every hand, calling shoves with any two cards, getting it in with any cards on any flop and he has absolutely destroyed me.  I can no longer do this.

Here's a couple...

Please just take a few minutes to look through some of these and I'll explain when the money went in:

A8 (top right), no chance of holding

A6 (top middle) all in pre

AK (top right) all in pre

JT (bottom left) all in pre, 8 gives me a straight so he just hits the 4

K6 (bottom middle) all in on flop

K8 (bottom right) all in on the flop lol...

12.thumb.PNG.139c335b7759252584f9929322ac55b6.PNG

Plus a bunch more I can't capture because the HH replayer only lets you see a certain number of hands.

No point grinding the 25/50s when I should be up around 6-10k over the past 3-4 days from the guys I've played in that time, yet I'm down around 4-5k? It's absolutely unbelievable.  

Good luck guys, maybe I'll be back one day. 

Just found this one as well lol.. 

13.PNG.82dc741ed2c49db0015c74b5175057a3.PNG

 

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So I suppose you purposely threw BRM out of window, eh? As you probably know that is 90+% of time way to screw yourself in poker. Variance is smaller in HU though not absurdly small as unibet games are still quite shallow. But red line being that few k€ swings are totally normal if playing 200€ games... Bankroll should be well into 5figs to play those. Hunting whale to bigger games is ok but one should stick to some sort of risk management still. 

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It's funny that everyone is an expert. You're talking to a guy who's been playing heads up for 8-10 years, who has quit his job, about bankroll management. I don't want to come across as a ❤️♥️❤️, even though I don't really care if I do, but you're not the first to try and give me amazing advice on where I went wrong.

Let me just clear up a couple of things. Firstly, I'm not broke, I've busted the account that I built up from a 6 euro cash ticket, even after withdrawing over 2k pounds from that. So I've made 2k in January, not terrible. Secondly, of course few k swings are standard at the 200s but my issue comes with how over the past 3-4 days I've played 3 massive whales at the 200s and I've definitely lost to 2 of them, maybe all 3, over a decent-ish sample given the structure (less shallow than 90% of my heads up volume - hyper turbos on Stars/FTP). The guy tonight is getting it in with any two cards and getting there in ridiculous fashion. When he's not behind he's coolering the ❤️♥️❤️ out of me. The first player from a few days back was similar, but not quite as erratic, yet I couldn't win vs him either.

If you've watched my stream I think you'll agree that I know how to play heads up. My results on Unibet at the 25s for example will show an 8% ROI over at least 10k games. I can sit there crushing the 25s against better players than the ones that I've lost to this week, winning flips, holding in 70%+ situations, yet not for the first time on Unibet (probably the 10th), I've moved up and run like I do above. I don't know what games or stakes you play (I'd be interested to know, seeing as you're an expert) but when you're a heads up poker professional, you do not pass up on spots like this. I was willing to bust my account today because the flip side is running just at EV would've profited me thousands. People are generally far too conservative with BRM and it costs them a massive amount of EV long term. I'll likely go and take my bankroll to Stars for a bit or maybe I'll just grind the 25s for a week again, I'm not sure yet but I'm definitely feeling a bit disillusioned with Unibet right now.

I write this blog because not only do I like to track my progress but I believe people want to see that it's still possible to make money in poker, especially when it's becoming increasingly difficult. The last thing I want when I've just lost 15bi to a guy who is licking his screen while he plays is a bunch of experts telling me I should play lower and use different BRM. When you live by the sword you die by the sword but I'm allowed to be ridiculously frustrated by the constant poundings the RNG gives me and until you've ever experienced something remotely close please do not tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing.

I'm probably done with this blog for now because I don't feel like I need to explain or justify anything I do. If I continue playing on Unibet hopefully I'll see you guys around. GL.

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Hey man,

I guess one of the things you need to expect when writing a blog in a public setting is people coming along acting like they know better and where you went wrong etc. Obviously write after a mammoth losing session this is far from ideal, people who are commenting should also be aware of the situation, even if you are giving advice that you think is solid, just take a sec and think is now the right time... probably not.

I hope you do decide to keep the blog up and running, I think it is awesome and like I have said before a true insight into making it as an online pro in the modern day, a dream that is seen as less and less plausible as time goes by, so you are showing it is still possible, which is great imo.

I would say that HUSNG is probably the worst format when running bad as you feel the pain constantly, it is disgusting and some of them hands above are absurd...

Like I say I hope you stick around and keep playing here, I think playing on other sites as well and mixing things up is a great idea, Sky, 888, stars etc all of husng, but stars is not ideal now imo, the cartels at the higher stakes mean that you will have to battle a lot of regs over a big sample before getting any fish, not saying you're not capable of that at all, but I just think there are way more better options out there.

Whatever you decide gl and thanks for the blog!

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@Brocky  you was are still our HERO! All I can say is: "just take your time, make decision which suits you the most and do it!"

Correct me if I'm wrong, but here is absolutely NOBODY who can advice/explain you what happened and why. Most of us are 'recreational' => freerolls or nano/micro hunters and are playing with many times less bankroll than you ... so our experiences/skills are none (0) in comparison with yours!!!

I just stick with Mr. @UAC

"I hope you do decide to keep the blog up and running, I think it is awesome and like I have said before a true insight into making it as an online pro in the modern day, a dream that is seen as less and less plausible as time goes by, so you are showing it is still possible, which is great imo."

Whatever you do, whatever you decide to do I will be still hoping for your comeback, you are my HERO and I still keep you in my mind!!!

Wish you good luck in your next poker & personal life. ❤️ 👍 :cash:

+ Many thank you for this blog, your work & your stream - you change thinking of some of us!!!

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Reading this blog for a couple of days now. Imho, you have all the skill you need, you are a great player but you seem to struggle with entitlement tilt. You know that you are way better than your competition, so you think you should win a vast majority of the time. But that’s not how poker works. A lot of the hands you lost were preflop all-in – even if your opponents plays any two cards he will have 30-40% equity a lot of the time. You can lose against that kind of equity multiple times in a row, quite easily even. But understandably, it feels frustratingly unfair because it seems the opponent doesn’t do anything in order to win. It seems that he hates money, that he’s stupid, that he wants to lose all his money to you – but, of course, time and time again he’s saved by the dealer.

If that’s how you feel about it, I can’t offer you help because that’s my biggest leak, too. I’m often getting angry – and as a result, probably playing worse – when I think that I’m far better than my opponent but just can’t win ever vs. them. It’s hard to deal with. I don’t have any anger issues in any other area of life but stupidity gets to me for some reason. That line of thinking is stupid, of course. You want opponents like that at the table. And it doesn’t matter if they’re stupid. Maybe they are, maybe they are really intelligent in other areas and just want to have some fun playing online poker. For you, losing 15 buy-ins is a big deal, for him, it might be pocket change. You don’t know, you shouldn’t care. But obviously, we can’t help ourselves.

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@GamesDean post is spot on. Entitlement tilt is pretty huge in poker, probably even more so in HU than any other format. It is obviously super important (but at the same time difficult) to detach from short term results. I guess winning 55% of all HUSNG would result in a decent ROI, so in this format we just have to get used to losing a lot of games.

The more I think about it the more I realise how tough the format is mentally.

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Well I dont play HUSNG outside of random times so not expert on that area. But poker has been my main income for 6-7 years now. Much more experience in other sng, mttsng and mtt formats. I personally know how cruel variance can be even in stt sng with hundreds of buyins below EV over timeframe of couple months. For buyins I have regularly played upto 100 and 200 games in sng formats. In unibet its not possible to know EV adjusted roi which during downswings can be sort of tougher. 

As it was just smaller portion of your real bankroll its obviously not that big deal in big picture. Imo for lot of players who play and study poker somewhat seriously its important to understand importance of BRM. Sure its not good to be too tight in BRM but its always way better than being too aggressive. Also when one has very aggro BRM it does require lot more emotional control. Bigger swings does cause more mental pressure and even best thought BRM plan is useless if one is not mentally strong enough to follow it. When someone goes broke its rarely after following good BRM rules (assuming one is winning player). Obviously BRM requirements can and should be different for one playing as hobby or as profession. But learning idea of BRM at smaller stake is definitely advantage. 

Anyway my main point was that if it had been all of your bankroll or most of it taking those shots even versus big fish would have been questionable risk. As someone said above losing few games in row versus any2 maniac shover is not that unlikely as he will most of time have that 30+% equity. 

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I will address the rest of the points separately when I'm at a computer but I'd just like to say of course I will suffer from entitlement tilt against a player shoving any two, who wouldn't? I've sat here playing for over 10 years to improve my heads up game and I end up getting crushed by plays my girlfriend could make knowing full well that money I lose will just end up in another reg's pocket. It's a horrible feeling and I defy anyone to not feel some level of entitlement tilt over that.

 

Also, I don't think I'm being outrageous by asking the poker gods just to let me run at EV in these games, that's not too much to ask for. Those hands are literally ridiculous, even as one-offs, but you put them all together in one session, on top of 2 previous sessions that were similar and you start to question everything you know.

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@XY wrote:


@Brocky wrote:

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"

diane.PNG.83cde2501e005f309a1bfe913d49354f.PNG


Must be WuDu... 🤣


I don't play HU and not on that level but after reading parts of this blog I LOLed...

We're gonna win on so many levels! We're gonna win, win, win. You're gonna get so tired of winning, you're gonna say: "Mr. President please, we don't wanna win anymore, it's too much!" And I'm gonna say: "I'm sorry, we're gonna keep winning because we're gonna make America great again!"
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Hey guys. Just a quick update, I've dabbled in a few HU today but confidence is utterly shot to pieces tbh. I've always maintained I don't believe a poker site would rig a game and I don't believe Unibet is rigged but when you have multiple sessions such as the previous one you start to question what is real, what is right and generally everything about your game/poker. It really is hard to explain; I've lost 15-20bi probably a hundred plus times before but this was different (plus multiple sessions in a row against massive whales), yet I can't change the past I can only affect the future. I've got plenty of bankroll to be playing my normal games so I imagine I'll be back on stream at the some point tomorrow at the 25/50s. For tonight I'm really not in the mood to grind though, the pain is still real.

Gl.

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I didn't comment last week as I could tell that emotions were running pretty high, many of us go through all the doubts and swear never to play again, it's rigged, it's unfair, it's whatever, but the true difference will be found in those that can handle the mental pressure. I know as a pro player losing some of your br hurts, especially after a hard grind to up it, but I can assure you a micro player losing half of his 50e br feels the pain as well. The difference is you have to keep playing to pay the bills, we can stop for a day or two or even longer, so I hope you come back stronger and show us what can be done.

I know the br is a bit of a sensitive issue but you say you lost 3,000 at 200, that's 15 buy ins, I thought you were only going to take a few bi shots at higher stakes, and I know you thought the whales were beatable, but surely sticking to a br management is all part of the long term strategy? Anyway best of luck and keep going, there are too many posts here that start in a blaze of glory then suddenly end with no warning, we're all behind you here. 👍

 

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"It turns out that 75% of all poker players think they play better than the other 75%."     image.png.99a4e82708d54abfc527324e8836768e.png

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I don't really know what to say anymore. I'm playing a guy who is bet/calling a jam on an AA8 with 4 high, I'm surprised I stopped at 3k tbh. The money isn't a sensitive issue at all though, I was prepared to push the shot taking by moving up and up so I'm prepared to deal with the financial consequences, but the manner in which I lost still seems strange to this day.

 

I'm not going to comment further on BRM after this post because everyone has their own opinion on the subject but I feel people are waaaaay too conservative with their approach to BRM in general. The opportunity cost generally far outweighs the negatives of moving up, especially if you're disciplined in moving down. Losing 3k is frustrating but I was up around 5k; if you're not willing to lose 60% of your profit against the player in those pictures then the money means too much to you.

 

Ultimately, as a professional, you should be over the moon to have an opportunity to play such a player at such high stakes, it's what the whole dream is about. If I want to print a solid but unspectacular £2k per month I'll go back to being an accountant.

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Evening guys and gals. Apologies for not being back at the grind as soon as I said I would. I tried to put in some volume yesterday and earlier today but was still feeling a bit 'meh' about it all. I've decided that I grind the hardest when I have solid things to focus on, hence why I set pretty clear volume and ROI goals at the start of the year but also why I enjoy streaming. As a result I feel like doing another sort of bankroll challenge will help, just to give me that extra incentive to keep going when times get tough.

 

So starting from tonight, I am going to be attempting (and streaming for the most part) a €1k to €100k challenge. I know it's super ambitious but you've gotta have these sorts of goals in life to go for! I'll be starting at the 25s and will be going live on stream now <3

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