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A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

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Pekka moved to sweden and tried to adjust to the sweden society.

He started to go to church every sunday.

One monday he came in to work with a big black eye!

His colleague asked suprised:

What in the world happend to you?!

Well you know, when I was in church yesterday we stand up to sing a psalm.

in front of me there was a beautiful older lady standing up and I saw that her skirt had gotten stuck in her butt. I thought that she probably didn't want that so I pulled the skirt out and the lady turned around and hit me in the face.

The next monday when Pekka got to work he had an even bigger black eye on the other eye.

The colleague said:

What happend this time?

Pekka:

Well you know, I was in church yesterday and the same old lady was in front of me again.

When everyone rised, her skirt had gotten stuck again.

The colleague:

And you pulled it out?

Pekka:

No, her husband was with her and saw it so he pulled it out.

workmate:

???

pekka:

But I knew she didn't want it that way so I put back in.

The doughnut is the saddest dessert... it just can't find its inner piece.
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