Dubnjoy000 Posted August 12 Author Share Posted August 12 Notepad : Montreal Style Montreal has been the closest semblance of routine I have achieved since... ohhhhh, a good 6 months ago, back when (before this blog started) I had a well established family life. I do find it curious how I have been craving a sense of daily structure... I must be getting fucking old or something . Anyhow, here are some random sporadic thoughts : - I find it very intriguing how we always consider the present to be Modern Times... In the sense that this is it, that we have figured out a TON OF KNOWLEDGE/are significantly more evolved than our predecessors. That the generations before us (or even a few years ago) were fucking cavemen ignorant, right!?!?! Or that, individually, the Dubnjoy000 of 5 years ago was just not as knowledgable, or not as much of a good person as the present day Dubn while forgetting that I will also pale in comparison to the ensuing Dubn, at least according to this logic of reasoning... How curiously egotistical creatures we are, right... - A very similar temporal fallacy but one that goes back in time as opposed to unreasonably embracing the present day trends, is Nostalgia. The art of looking back and idealizing with rose colored glasses the subjective and idealized past as opposed to the more mundane present, right... - I am having doubts about my future in Argentina. I will not be taking any rushed decisions and will still give it another shot as planned, but part of me really wants to go back to Lima and work on making it my home long term... - My upcoming live MTT schedule is more hectic then I initially thought with Montreal in a couple of weeks ; Neuquen, Argentina in October ; Rosario, Argentina in November (both are CAP events (AKA el Circuito Argention de Poker) ; EPT Prague in December. I will be going to Brazil and Punta del Este in Jan-February, but this blog will most likely be extinct by that time, me thinks... Run good all . -700$ in 4h this week 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 17 Author Share Posted August 17 This Little Thing Called Anger Canadian soil has tranquilized me. Quite a bit. Actually. Literally since my first evening crossing the CAD border. And laying my head down on a Canuck pillow for my first normal night of sleep. Thank fucking God . It is as if the weight of the World was left behind. Or at least the tonnage of burden that was Argentina . And did I mention that I am sleeping normally again... . During my 3 weeks in Vegas, I played this little game of mine where, while I would not provoke or encourage any physical contact, I fracking decided that for the duration of the God Damn three weeks, I was not going to avoid bumping shoulders with a stranger while walking ; NO FREAKING-FUCKING WAY!!! It didn't matter if buddy was going fucking flying to the ground, I WASN'T GOING TO MOVE for the life of me!!! Spoiler It happened only twice where me and a villain bumped shoulder like Mama-frackers : once vs this Meat Head, the kind that seeks to throw fists 24/7 ; and the second time vs this GARGANTUAN black fellow standing TALL like a fracking MOUNTAIN of 350lbs, the hands the size of fracking SHOVELS and the frame constituted of half muscles/half bouncing FAT!!! In Buenos Aires, I wanted to pounce the living shit out of most (male) passerby. To practice my MMA on those walking fracking targets. To fracking SEEK and DESTROY!!! YOUR ANGER IS A GIFT : Yup, it feels good to let go of that tension . To no longer let the streets of Buenos Aires vibrate and shake my inner soul with all that detonating rage, you know . Peace out y'all -3.1k in 15h this week 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 18 Author Share Posted August 18 Lustful Illusions Today, it is one of those days when I have to pick myself up from the ground, grab my torso firmly by both hands, shake myself neatly from all the accumulated dirt, dust and fracking run bad that has tarnished my body and soul, you know . Not literally mind you, as I am pretty much left emotionally unaffected by my utter lol run bad, but financially though, I need to up-fucking-tick to the moon yo . Where has one of these deep MTT runs where I bink mid 5 digits been... It would definitely counter my present online downswing of 12k (CAD$)... Or the 5k dropped last night betting on Izzy to smack the living shit out of Drickus in UFC 305 - which he was doing until Drickus got him in an unexpected head choke... And my 18k placed on Trump which seemed like an absolute COUP vs Biden a few months back, but shaky as fuck atm... And lest not forget the 40k (+ expenses) dropped during WSOP Vegas right... Ehhhh . And yet, I still managed to wake up in a fracking good mood, go figure . But... There is a clear explanation y'all : last night's dreams. You see, she filled my reveries with her bright smile, her BIG sensitive eyes, her BIG MOUNTAINOUS BOOBS... Leading me directly, hand-in-hand, to this euphoric hypnotic state . We met (virtually) on a LIma FB Expat page, her openly exuberayting signs that she is off work for the next month/open for traveling, meeting up and whatnot, and me reaching out in DM's... You know, True Romance in 2024 folks . And after several (Lonnnggg as fuck) audios, chats and whatnot, she is EVERYTHING I fucking want in a woman : good, compassionate, smart, successful, pretty, who speaks 4 languages, is well-traveled and etcetera and fucking etc. folks . And here is the thing : we got this folks!. Not only will I fracking chase her until the end of times if need be, but I woke up intuitively feeling that "This is it! It is in the bag yo ". But, word of advice all : Spoiler Never trust the objectivity of a Romantic French fellow that studied in literature when it comes to his romantic prospects, especially when he controls the narrative . Spoiler But in all seriousness, I really want to be with this quality of a lady and it really makes me wonder about "what is my worth on the dating market???" and "is she in my league or am I punching too high???". Anyhow, last week until WSOPC Montreal, so will be grinding online, seeing the last peeps I need to see here, training-meditating-studying-and-the-usual-bla bla. Peace -5.2k in 18h online and -3.4k (both in Euros) in sports betting this week 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 20 Author Share Posted August 20 Looking Ahead : WSOPC Montreal A good day at the (virtual) office, as variance finally fell my way, games were soft as fuck and I happened to manage a solid 6.5k (CAD) uptick yo . But anyhow, starting next Monday, I will be hopping into the : - PLO 600$. 30 minutes blind levels. Granted, it is a small BI (for me) (and in CAD$)), but the 4 card game remains my strongest and favorite game. And we got this yo : Spoiler Last WSOPC Montreal in 2019 saw me God damn miss out on the ring by finishing 3rd in this same event after the lol clueless rec ran hotter than the sun and got the best of me . - The 800$ 50/50 Mystery Bounty is on Tuesday. The top bounty will be 50k with most likely a couple of 25k ones to be had ; pretty decent for an under 1k BI . - If I don't make day2 of the Mystery Bounty, Wednesday will be offering a 1k NLHE. - The 1.7k Main has flights on Thursday-Friday-Saturday ; it pays top 15%, but only the top 10% will be advancing (1.5 million guaranteed), which means that, when also factoring in the fast 40 minutes blind levels, I will most likely be firing in the tune of 4-5 bullets given my tendencies to normally do so... . - The 3.3k HR is on Sunday, a couple of hours after the start of day2 of the ME. The blind levels are 60 minutes, so unless I make a deep run in the ME, I will have 1-2 bullets ready to fire yo . - I assume I will be playing one of day3 of the Main or day2 of the HR on Monday, but regardless, Tuesday will offer a 1k PKO event, a format I usually strive in yo . Run good all +4.3k (Euros) in 7h online this week 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 23 Author Share Posted August 23 Last night out in Montreal with buddies tomorrow evening before the start of WSOPC/leaving the city - and last night with family on Sunday evening -, where the day will start off with 2 hours of tennis - my buddy will kick my ass , but am hoping for a salvaging 3-6... -, a few artesian Quebecan beers afterwards, a French restaurant in the Old Port, some wine and, to top off the evening, a joint and a semi-drunk game of petanque in the park yo . I am pretty sick and tired of fallen short in my live MTT deep runs since 2019 folks, so we fucking got this yo . 1.1k in 16h this week 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 24 Author Share Posted August 24 Irrational Logical I am really digging this Peruvian lady . Think pretty - in a very natural sort of beauty. Educated (2 bachelor degrees + an MBA). Determined (has her own business/contemplating running for Maire. Well travelled. Multilingual (she speaks 4 languages). And, most importantly, a good woman, str8 down to her soul, you know . Of course, I am very aware that these online storylines usually lead to a deadend most of the time. With like probably a success rate of a sub 10% frequency - and even inferior to 5%... Yet my (irrational) intuition is (innerly) screaming out otherwise, as if it is one of those scenarios that even though you have just 2 fucking outs going to the river, you just have that unrestrained feeling that you are going to hit one of them... . One thing that is quite promising though, is that I have since determined that she is single, does not have any kids and seems to be seeking a relationship... None of which that were made obvious at first, as we did not meet on a dating site, but on a facebook community!!! Anyhow... I hung out with a few buddies yesterday, got my arse kicked at tennis - ehhhh 1-6, 0-6, but versus a buddy that has been playing twice a week for the past 4 decades, so totally understandable/expected yo -, I will have an extensive family dinner tomorrow, before taking down the WSOPC by storm next week, you know . Am also contemplating purchasing a 2 bedroom house in Les Laurentides next year ; well, it is either here or in Argentina, and since Canada is exponentially more of a stable country, the choice might be that much clearer/obvious... But then again, Cordoba or Mendoza would be 1/3 of the price, so not that much of a commitment... Time will tell... Be well all +2.7k in 17h 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestabear Posted August 25 Share Posted August 25 Thanx for the update Bruv... Spoiler I think it's better to have love & lost... than not to have loved at all !!! 1 Always remember... You can be... do... or have anything your heart desires ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 25 Author Share Posted August 25 13 hours ago, Nestabear said: Thanx for the update Bruv... Reveal hidden contents I think it's better to have love & lost... than not to have loved at all !!! Hey, thx friend!!! Here is to hoping that the next 8-9 days of tournaments will go my way for a decent score... Daily updates upcoming for the duration of WSOPC Montreal yo . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 27 Author Share Posted August 27 WSOPC Montreal : PLO 600$ Ehhhhh, I fucking hate tournaments for the life of me . They suck balls... And then some!!! But anyhow, let's start this post with the good news, shall we not!?!!? The good news is that, well, much like it was the case in Vegas, we are starting off the series with the smaller BIs and slowly moving up from there yo! So a 600$ is really not the fracking end of the world, even if I hate life right now, you know . And now for the bad news... How about 3 bullets fired. Or finishing 3 off from the money (27th, paid 24th). Or running bad in just about every fracking way (un)imaginable!!! Ehhhh, I am really fed up with the past few years of live MTTs, for fuck sakes . It is midnight right now, I still need to meditate for an hour to wind down, watch an episode of The Boys - elite show yo -, and then I will need to get up at 8:30am to meditate, exercise, shower and arrive in time for the 800$ Mystery Bounty tomorrow, but before departing, here is the : How we got away with Fracking Murder in Broad daylight Hand of the Day yo : I have been really splashing around in the early levels as to try to capitulate on the mistakes that folks can make when this deep, so when I look down at in the BB, I need no begging to call the minuscule squeeze to 2.5bbs of the SB ; the 2 other limpers also call. Flop (11bbs) : After the SB checks, I take little time to bet 5.5bbs ; CO calls as does the SB. Turn (27.5bbs) : The nine is not the best card for my hand, but after SB checks, I opt to make the easiest bet-fold in the world and fire 20bbs ; CO folds, but SB calls. River (67.5bbs) : Not a great card for my hand, obviously, but an amazing one for my range and it is an absolute blank so as far as the story I was telling goes, I take little time into shoving my last 65bbs after SB checks ; Spoiler Villain snap folds what he says was the superior QJJ9 We got this yo . +1.3k online in 1h and - 1.2k live in 7h this week 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 28 Author Share Posted August 28 WSOPC Montreal : 800$ Mystery Bounty It is official : live tournament poker is the most masochistic activity one can choose ; just to squeeze the knife further down my tilting (MTT) scar, I not only bubbled once again when it looked like I was going to advance with an above average stack for the critical day 2 of the Mystery Bounty, but it happened with the beautiful looking AA with a mere SPR of 1 in a perfect spot where I managed to entice 2 villains to call my 3bet by making it 3.3x, I was gifted a (seemingly) blank flop of 368ss where not only did I feel comfortable that I was nutted, but that I might also get action by an overpair with such a low SPR... I cbet 25% ; got a call ; shoved the turn, only to get the most annoying new arrogant pro turn over the flopped set 888, fml . Anyhow, am fracking tired, so let’s get on with the : How I got away with Murder Hand of the Day : After it is folded to the (weak) SB, he attempts to limp as I look down at the polarizing ; I of course make it 3.75bbs to go as SB elects to tag along. Flop (8.5bbs) : I really don’t feel I will be conquering the world anytime soon with this board/range that hits him harder than it does me, so I decide to check-back whatever little (dreams) of equity I have left . Turn (8.5bbs) : Villain fires a tentative 2bbs. I don’t have a ton of equity, but could rep the 7, a 2 would be nutted, a Q might be good, but mainly, I am just going to attack his sizing with a little of a backup plan if he does decide to look me up ; I raise to 11bbs, ; villain tanks and hesitatingly makes the call. River (30.5bbs) : Bingo! When villain checks, I now use this new scare card (for a weaker player) to fold out any stubborn pair that might of had with his combo draw and I fire 22bbs, leaving myself with 10bbs behind. Villain looks deterred, scrutinizes my (nonexistent) bodily reactions, staress at my stack and…. Spoiler Folds yo!!! +1.3k in 1h online and -2.3k in 17h live this week 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 29 Author Share Posted August 29 WSOPC Montreal : 1k NLHE Ehhhhhh... Yup . 2 bullets this time. If any of my <<<<< ; <<<<< and 2 missed flush draws, AKA a 60%, 70%, 35% and 35%, didn't whiff like useless Mama-frackers, for Pete's sakes, then I would of been in great shape, probably still at the casino right now and not ranting these lines, ehhhhhh freaking-fracking FUCK . You see, we all show up at the beginning of a series with the dream of binking, all excited to get back on the live MTT felt you know, each and everyone of us the master of those inner illusions... And then, a few days, later, over 95% of us just start fracking tilting like madmen midway through the series, cursing at all the POKER GODS and their divine OFFSPRINGS and wishing that they would burn in the deepest, darkest INFERNAL HELL, you know . Oh well, tomorrow is day 1A of the 3 starting waves of the 1.7k ME, so now is the time to run good y'all . We got this yo . The Mama-Fracking Gangsta Hand of the day : After it is folded around the table and the SB (a weak as fuck player) decides to limp, I happily raise it to 3.75bbs with the beautiful ; SB snap-calls. Flop (8.5bbs) : Not the prettiest flop in the world, but I do have runner outs, overs and perhaps eventual broadway cards that I can bluff at... I happily check-back. Turn (8.5bbs) : I was going to check it back, but when villain decides to bet 4bbs, I obviously make the call. River (16.5bbs) : I carefully observe villain as he stares at the river... contemplates... is thinking about life, the universe, the multi-verse and all its siblings... Something seems fishy... When he finally decide to bet 8bbs and I turn to like myself at what the river brought, something seems off... The sizing... His body language... The fact that he only doubled his bet size even though the board has polarized his range to turned str8s, full houses, but... the thing is, I don't see him limp-calling a ton of small cards, nor continue betting with a 6x... And that there are simply a TON of air overcards that I crush... I call : Spoiler villain flips over +1.3k in 1h online and -3.7k in 22h live this week 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 30 Author Share Posted August 30 WSOPC Montreal : 1.7k Main Event Day 1A Ehhhhh, the poker Gods just take a pleasure at staring down at us, mere mortals... Pointing fingers at our limited capacities, singling out our cutoff points, lolling when we can't take it no more... In my case, one of them has stuck a knife in my interiors these past few years, taking sadistic pleasure at twisting it, shoving it a bit further, slowly tearing open my insides... Or at least that is how it felt when I finished 34th this evening (it paide top 32), despite being the table chip leader an hour prior and having 6x starting stacks . Yup. I happened to lose 4 significant flips during that stretch, with any one of them leaving in fracking good shape . The odds of that happening : 6%. Anyhow folks, that is it for this evening : it is past midnight, I need to meditate, wind down and get back at it tomorrow at 8am, so peace y'all and run better than I do . +1.3k in 1h online and -4.9k in 34h live this week 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted August 31 Author Share Posted August 31 WSOPC Montreal : 1.7k Main Event Day 1B Well, at least I did not pure bubble this time . I have been playing this game professionally for 14 years now, and yet the variance still does not cease to surprise me, go figure!!! . In terms of live MTTs, I am approximately on a 150k downswing since 2019 (100k Euros), which, when factoring in that I have never had a 6 digit score, is a Sisyphus task to succumb, to say the least. Today was a weird day on the felt where my peak was 2x starting stacks, but during which I saw myself confronted by preflop conundrums vs shoves of 16bbs, 21bbs, 8bbs and 17bbs, while holding middling ranges of 99 (< AJo), AQs (> TT), KJo (> A9s) and 88 (<KJo), hence finding myself tanking with a tough decision every time, but ending up finding the calls, despite not loving to have to embrace so much variance, sigh!!! On the positive side of things, my pre-grind ritual of an hour of meditation and 30 minutes of MMA training, combined with light dinner meals, have uplifted my concentration and table awareness to unprecedented levels yo - or at least enough to last throughout the day . So it is just a matter of time folks : we will get this . +1.3k in 1h online and -6.1k in 39h live this week 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted September 1 Author Share Posted September 1 WSOPC Montreal : 1.7k Main Event Day 1C 13h later and I got my first cash of the series : 3k. I did lose a 60-40% flip 2 off from the 2nd pay jump/moving on to day2 which would of netted me an extra 6k in equity, but alas, while variance is not on my side, I am playing great and we will get this . HHs incoming next week, but for now, most get a little sleep before tomorrow's 3.3k HR. Peace. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted September 2 Author Share Posted September 2 WSOPC Montreal : 3.3k HR Quick update : going back tomorrow to 66bbs ; peaked at 4.3x starting stacks (got 2.5x now), but ran bad in the last level. I have just under average, we lost about 65% of the field, but registration still open for a couple of levels, unfortunately (60 minute blind levels). I will have a more exhaustive update when time permits... Peace. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted September 4 Author Share Posted September 4 WSOPC Montreal Conclusion : Notepad Style To rapidly resume the past couple of days of WSOPC Montreal : I got (unsurprisingly) coolered on Day 2 of the HR Spoiler Top 2 vs a str8 in a 3bet pot in an SPR of 1.1 : KQ < AT on a KQJ flop and then proceeded to lose 2 bullets in the Progressive Bounty today after building a sizable chip lead of 4.25x starting stacks, but losing a flip when villain lost his mind by shoving 42bbs effective over a 5.5bbs 3bet pot (88 < KQo). End results : 15.8k CAD in BIs with a mere 3.2k in cashes ; we are not in the midst of our most profitable stint of live MTTs, to say the least, but still have the CAP series in Neuquen next month, WSOPC Rosario in October and EPT Prague in December. We will FRACKING get this yo . - Outside of today (during which I was completely exhausted and half arse tilted), I mostly played my A game on and off the table. My pregame preparation was A+ with meditation and MMA training prior to every day of grinding. In all honesty, I could not of done any better with the factors within my control and now we just need variance to fall our way . - I did nevertheless notice a few weaknesses of mine, namely widening up WAY TOO MUCH my SB range when limping and being a bit too aggro on the bubble vs recs. - The city of Montreal has gotten prettier over the years. More green. Less cars. With bicycle lanes everywhere. They also made several downtown streets strictly pedestrian, Europe style yo . I must admit that every time I come back for a visit, I am more and more tempted to relocate in La Belle Province . - I felt EXTREMELY welcomed from my family, friends and acquaintances both in Dawson and Montreal ; it feels fucking great to be welcomed as such, tbh . Alright folks, I am hopping on the plane for Peru in a few hours, I will be doing an Ayahuasca ceremony this Friday, will be (finally) meeting up with the special Peruvian lady I have been interacting with on Sunday . My Peru stint will be from one to three weeks depending on how things work out with her. If not, the priorities for the next 4 weeks will be the online grind, training, dating, trying great restaurants and dipping a little bit into the nightlife scene yo . Our next live series will be in Neuquen, Argentina in October (small series, 500$ ME and 1.5k HR). We got this yo . 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted September 8 Author Share Posted September 8 Am about to jump on my Cusco-Lima flight ; am leaving behind my Ayahuasca trip #5 - more on this in a future exhaustive post (I started writing it, but want to spend some time on fine tuning it yo ). This evening I got a date with the lady I have been chatting with daily over the past few months. I am excited about our evening to come. Apprehensive. Stressed out. Like a fracking school kid yo . Anyhow, talk later y'all. Peace 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted September 14 Author Share Posted September 14 Ayahuasca (Part 5) : PachaMama So you really wanna open that Mystic Door that once unlatched, can never be shut back again… Or leave no rocks unturned in this Bottom World... Or even explore new Galactic frontiers where no one has gone before…. Or perhaps tackle your decades old repressed demons that have been unleashed for a few hours…. If thus is the case, fear not folks!, as Aya is her name! or like the Peruvian Natives prefer to call her : PachaMama Friday. Even if we are blessed with delightful Cusco Sunny skies today, I am nonetheless approaching this ceremony backwards… Life events have just spun themselves in this vertiginousness flow over the past few months, thus creating this ensuing dizziness that has made me incapable of pinpointing any chain of events…. Think an existential breakup in Argentina that tested my psychological limits… Followed by some intense dating action in Lima condensed in the span of 2 weeks…. With WSOP Vegas fueled by tilt, hope and disillusion…. To reacquainting with awesome friends in Dawson - and tragedies, alas - when every evening was booked and then some…. To good ole Montreal where life did finally manage to slow itself down, but then WSOPC just exposed me to MULTIPLE bubbling emotional/tilting adventures…. So yeah, even though I have dedicated some effort into my Aya preparation - think no caffeine, smoking, alcohol, sugars, meat, milk etc. -, it was nevertheless done with a half-ass hearted predisposition, as my mind was still stuck somewhere on the tournament felt and my heart infatuated by La Belle Province of my young adult years… Hence it is not with the greatest enthusiasm ever known to mankind that I am envisioning the HIGHLY substance-induced evening to come, you know, but he we are!!! Thus, after a day of fasting and several days of light meals, I show up at the temple in the outskirts of Cusco, anxious and not very driven to fracking dwell too deep into the Spirit World. You see, not only do I have last year’s infernal voyage fresh on my mind, by like usually is the case prior to a meditation retreat, I am exposed to the bodily pains (and its accompanying emotions) foreshadowing the rough journey to come…. Sigh and a gazillion times Hellish SIGHS : I barely have the time to sit cross legged on my bed, to shut my eyes and meditate that they come and get me and announce at my door : - “Ayahuasca ceremonia!!!”. Ehhhh, so soon . I slowly make my way to the ceremony room and the recognize the Petit Native Chaman, AKA the Master of Ceremony with beside him Johanna (and her new born child tucked in her arms). Johanna is the head honcho of this Enterprise and a Chaman in her own rights ; sitting in the far corner by the washrooms, is found a distressed middle aged Latina woman (that clearly has some inner healing to do). I take my spot on my designated yoga in the center of the room, sit in a Buddha position and enrobe my body into the comfort of some cozy blankets. Besides me is a bottle of water, a puking bucket and a roll of toilet paper. - “Buenos noches” greets Johanna, even if we had just previously caught up for 5 minutes or so in the kitchen beforehand, “Jean was with us last year" she continues, now addressing directly the Chaman, "but his double-dose was too heavy of an experience”. - “Start with a single dose this evening and wait 45 minutes before deciding to take another one or not”. I acknowledge as does the MC. A silent ensues when all of us return to our inner selves and intentionally prepare for the journey to come… - “What is your Intention Jean?” asks Johanna, as the Chaman pours the thick liquid into 4 ounces shooter glasses ; “Hope, to know what is my life Purpose and a little Healing”. Johanna lets the words sink in, innerly contemplates my goals and moves on to the other lady. - “What is your Intention Guisella?”. The lady mutters barely distinctly “Work on my anger and resentment issues”. Johanna acknowledges and mentions to the Chaman that Guisella is also seeking visions - as I find out that she has also participated in last evening's Ceremony (and lookes still shook up by the experience). The Chaman kindly obliges, picks up a shooter glass, approaches Guisella and hands over the medicine. She chucks it. He goes back and grabs my dosage, brings it to me so I can thus recall how that black liquorish/brandy nauseous liquid tastes like once again . I ingurgitate the plant, close my eyes and retreat into the depths of my inner self, meditating. The thing about the ensuing hour after taking psychedelics, is that these doubts inevitably creep up about the effectiveness of the medicine…. That perhaps I should of avoided that (single) glass of orange juice 6 hours back or those 2 cups of teas shortly after…. That perhaps these liquids will not interact positively with the dose of Aya I just swallowed down and thus nullify its effects…. “Who gives a damn!” I suddenly come to terms, fully knowing that I have very little invested in this venture : it is not as if I need it!!! This is just another Journey along the lonnnnnggg as fuck existential path. If need be, I will take another dose in 15 minutes and if that one also fails, I will simply pack my bags, head to Lima, go meet my Lady friend, go to Argentina afterwards, do a meditation retreat and just fucking get on with my life - whatever that means . And then, a few minutes afterwards… IT FUCKING KICKS IN!!! Of course fool . Like always is the case. AND IT IS STRONG AS FUCK!!! - “Juan, tienes effecto?” consults the Chaman, probably prompt to shove down my throat another dosage if need be... - “Siiii!!!” I answer, fully aware that a second dose would knock the living shit out of me - “Ok, let me know if you need some more of the medicine”. Strangely enough, the HIGH is not progressive this time around, but more so like a blazing FIRE BUSH. Not an HIROSHIMA EXPLOSION like the last time around, mind you, but nonetheless intrusive, invading my WHOLE body, nauseating, roaring from inside out and trying by all means to GET THE FUCK OUT of my anatomy!!! I quit my Buddha posture, kneel over my bucket, GAG loudly a few times, but alas!, nothing wants to come out. I know very well the intrinsics of this process. Wishing upon oneself to puke is counterproductive and will in fact discourage the natural release of emotional defilements. I spend about 10 eternally agonizing minutes bent over my pail, fluctuating in between gagging and (failed) puking attempts. I am suffering. Physically. Of course. With my insides being twisted inside-out. And emotionally. With my BIGGEST DARKEST fears suddenly popping up. Haunting me. Taunting me. And then…. I just give up! I sneak back onto my yoga mat, but preferring the horizontal position this time around, comfortably tucking myself into the blankets and just… letting go!!!. And it fracking works . This is blissful. Delightful. Vibrations are pouring through my body. Not like a surge of cascades, mind you, but nonetheless trickling along smoothly enough to make this Trip a more than agreeable one yo . I am absolutely loving this! I even renounce on the act of puking and rid myself of that yearning of freeing my tummy of this scorching medicine yo . “You know Dubn", I tell myself, "even if I cannot puke at all this evening, everything will be completely fine! The medicine is working its magic right now and given my past abuses with alcohol, my liver definitely needs it yo!!!”. The voyage is indeed a light enjoyable ride, despite all this inner work digging itself deep down into my tummy. And meanwhile, the soul intentions of this pilgrimage start verbally manifesting themselves : “What have I done to help others in my life?” are the inquiries that start to circulate in my brain ; “besides being successful in poker, hitting lucky investments opportunities - HODL to the moon yo - and innerly working on myself (learning languages, MMA, meditation etc.), I have done very little for my fellow humans…. Sure I am a very kind soul and whatnot, but outside of a few months of voluntary work in Vipassana centres, zilch was done…”. But here is the thing - and I am not embarking in this narrative direction because these lines happen to be written in a poker forum -, but since separating with my ex, my #1 priority has been to bink a 6-7 digit score in a live MTT, be the doom of me, ffs! And glooming it has been, as not only have I busted tournaments in excruciating fashion, but my target forever remains a fleeting seemingly unreachable at the horizon... . Hence, I feel myself forced to impose a deadline upon myself like I once did back 15 years ago when I was failing to become a winning poker player : if by next year’s WSOP Vegas the goal is not reached, I will alas stick to my bread and butter of online and some easier midstakes tournament series that I know I can crush, thus probably cutting my present BIs by 70% or so. And look to move unto something more altruistic with my time, like perhaps volunteering more in Vipassana centres... The rest of the Trip remains a smooth one, with a spurt dedicated to forgiving/making peace with my ex, even if she did unleash all her inner demons against me during our separation process…. I sit there, meditating for most of the journey, until the Chaman finally talks to us, asks us about our experience and closes the curtains on this whole psychedelic spectacle…. I go back to my room, still with a knot in my tummy turning and twisting, but at peace with the healing process, fully aware that this is what the doc ordered yo . As a reminder : Spoiler Last time around, a similar experience happened where I could not vomit until about 9am the next morning. I had taken a double dose and was IMMENSELY suffering from both physical and emotional distress. Days/months after the ceremony came to a closure, I had a dozen of close friends tell me how I looked noticeably younger yo (even my Mom and Dad) , as my skin had somehow become rejuvenated from having the Plant inhabit me for so long . I finally fall sleep for about 7 hours, being wakened up every 90 minutes or so by the plant doing its inner abdominal work. The next afternoon, once back in Cusco, it is with tears in my eyes that I thank PachaMama, forever loving her for paying me a visit and being part of my life . Peace 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted September 17 Author Share Posted September 17 Where Do We Go From Here/Give Entropy a Chance Things have been moving fast. Not consuming-Ayahuasca-and-entering-the-UnderWorlds-within-minutes kind of speedy levels , but quick as fuck nonetheless!!! Think a swiftly evolving love relationship with my Peruvian lady friend, that for the purpose of this blog/narrative, will henceforth be named C . Anyhow, in pure Latino fashion, C and I went from being acquaintances, friends, platonically curious to FULL-ON LOVERS in the span of a week/4 dates yo . And in a purely Dubnjoy fashion, I have decided to roll the dice - like I have done numerous times before - and will be moving to Lima in 2025. Or at least for 6 months (with the other 6 months being in Canada) at least for the next calendar year yo . Yup! Bye-bye Argentina! Hello new beginnings . What a fucking strange 2 years it has been . Anyhow, the plan as far as the short term goes, will be to go to Argentina for a couple of months in Oct-Nov to deal with my stuff over there - pack an extra suitcase of goods to bring along with me, sell some of it and mostly give the rest to friends -, play the CAP in Neuquen in a couple of weeks followed by WSOPC Rosario at the end of October, with most likely a Vipassana retreat in November with another MTT series in either Rosario (CAP) or Brazil at the end of that month... December will be dedicated to EPT Prague, visiting my folks in Montreal for Xmas, before looping back to Lima to be with C and thus bringing this blog/healing process to a closure yo . All we need in the meantime is a solid live MTT score and to purchase a house in Canada in 2026, and we are set folks. We fucking got this yo . 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted September 30 Author Share Posted September 30 A Quick Update I have been quite busy getting to know C recently and thus have spent very little time updating this blog ; things will change starting October 10 when I will be returning to Argentina for a couple of months, will play WSOPC Rosario for a couple of weeks, followed by EPT Prague starting December 4th and, more importantly, will be alone and hence will have plentiful of time on my hands for blogging before looping back to Lima to be back with C yo Be well all Ica, Peru 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubnjoy000 Posted Tuesday at 01:18 Author Share Posted Tuesday at 01:18 Variance with a BIG V Yesterday I won 4.2k (CAD$) off a 3k bet on Alex Pereira by method of Knockout. And yet I still ran bad as fuck. If I hadn't dropped just under 3k on the 4 card poker virtual tables in the hours prior, I would of placed a 6k bet, as initially planned. Moreover, ifmy wifi phone data was not slow as fuck, my additional 1k bet @ 1.7x for Alex would of went through, as would of my 500$ bet on Raquel. Yup. Such has been my misfortune as of late/since WSOP Vegas on and off the felt as far as betting goes, yet... Life has been fracking amazing yo . Yesterday we went to visit C's uncle, aunties and cousins in the Northern parts of LIma, AKA the poorer parts of the city ; when I first showed up in Peru back in 2018, I avoided like the pest the poorer barrios, as every tourist is informed to do. You see, stories of being kidnapped and leaving you tied up/chained up days on end until your atm cards are completely depleted, are rampant in these parts - despite its very low frequency of ever occurring. Furthermore, unlike in Argentina, having blue eyes/white skin, really sets you apart from the crowd, and thus can increase the likelihood of being targeted. Example : an acquaintance use to have a business in a poor neighbourhood and even though his shop was located literally 2 blocks away from his home, he would hop in a cab to go and comeback from work everyday ; when two of his Quebecois buddies visited him, they loled at the thought of having to hop in a cab for a couple of blocks. Hence disregarding his precautionary advice, they walked the distance, only to be intercepted by a couple of local bandits that approached the pair each with a brick in their hand. Alas!, little did the thieves know that one of our Quebecer friends was extensively trained in martial arts and thus quickly dispensed of the first foe with a precise KO kick to the head, before grabbing the second villain in a headlock and was about to send him to the hospital with a TKO knee before coming back to his senses, realizing that he was dealing with desperate poor lads. So anyhow, I have been visiting/spending most of my time in parts of LIma I never thought I would (or ever had a reason to) dwell in . In other news, C is absolutely amazing. Intelligent. Driven. Such a good soul. Pretty as fuck. Compassionate. Is established in life. Has a great job, apartment, car. And more importantly, we just had this STRONG AS FUCK symbioses from the start. And not just in bed yo . Anyhow, starting this Thursday, I will try to update this blog daily, especially that I will be solo for a couple of months and do have a couple of MTT series coming up, starting with WSOPC Rosario on October 17th yo. We got this -3.6k in 6h this week 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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